Why oh why oh why did my bathroom ceiling decide it was going to take on the job of a common rain cloud and dump a load of water all over my bathroom and bedroom I have no idea. He’s probably thinking that he finally got to live his dream and he can now let the mold and dry rot set in and take him down in a ball of flames that the total rock star I never knew my ceiling was.
I woke up about 3pm and felt very guilty for drinking way too much light beer last night. I dragged myself out of bed and I thought about my first post and it saddened me that I can be so down on myself. I asked myself “how bad is my life?” and then I felt a bit stupid because it’s not bad at all. I think I expect a lot from myself. Not fame or crap like that. But happiness or the constant search for feeling relevant in this world. Leaving something behind for people is my biggest hope. I never wanted kids so I thought instead of kids I could leave a creative legacy behind instead. The problem with creating is its open to off hand criticism and whimsy. I am so hard on myself to always do better and learn more about shit I don’t understand and when you have someone just roll up with a chainsaw and cut you down it feels lame because I feel I chop myself down enough already! I’ve started looking at Reddit pictures to show me how much crazy random shit happens elsewhere in the world and I really like that random interference I let in now and then as it opens me up to a bunch of images that either inform me or inspire me.
I’m in this new coffee shop called Rockpaper on Sunset Blvd right now eating a sandwich and I’m contemplating doing my first live VDI show here. It’s small and intimate. I thought it would be a perfect intro to my new music. It’s like zero pressure and I know no one I know will be there which is perfect ha ha.
I miss my mum an my nan and my sister a lot right now as my lady has her mum staying at my place and I wish my mum could visit me. But she would need to get a passport first…. I also miss my drummer Al. He is a dude. I don’t know how he puts up with me but he’s just a gent. He’s married now and the only photograph I have in my studio is the one he posted me from that wedding.
The good news is I love the remixes I have been sent from Herve and Digirattii for my ep. I also heard the Leisure Council remix in a cop car and it sounded immense. So my first VDI ep is nearly ready for release which I’m pumped about. It’s being released on my own label so I have all the control I wanted.
I have no idea why I’m reading The Oprah magazine.
That is all for now.
Hi world of Tumblr. This is my first post and it’s just a text post as I am in bed with a hang over and have nothing to take pictures of or really anything interesting to say but here it goes.
My life is strange but mostly good. I get to wake up, ride a bmx to work and make as much or as little music as I like each day. I’m writing or I suppose I should say “pitching” songs for new artists and just taking a back seat on my solo career for now. It never really flew so I just wanted to do some stuff in the background instead. I’m 26 and I haven’t really achieved much so I wanted to take a different approach to music and spare myself anymore major let downs at not being good at anything in the public eye.
It not great being in music sometimes. Like this morning I wake up and I think about the new video my fiancé put out yesterday on YouTube that she made all by herself and it’s amazing. It was shot for nothing and it’s a tasteful and an emotive piece of work but it seems to fall on deaf ears and it’s times like this when I just want to give up. I question everything and look at what does do well in the charts and I think well what’s the point. I’m not writing songs that go “I’ll love you like a love song baby” I mean someone just end it now. I think if I ever pitched a song like that to an A&R man I wouldn’t be getting a call back anytime soon/ever. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here but some days I just wake up disappointed with myself and ask myself the question “are you just shit?” and no one has had the heart to remind me that recently. Right now I feel like I’m reminding myself. I think I’m going to go back to sleep and try and wake up with a brighter outlook. Let you know how that goes later.